I need a sugar daddy. Not the candy. Someone who can help me out financially. It would be a one-sided deal as I’m not very inclined to do for the opposite sex lately. But, if I were to write an advertisement, it would read:
Needed: Sugar Daddy. Low maintenance, high paying job, willing to fund my current and future lifestyle. No I will probably not make out with you, unless you are extremely good-looking. If you are a gay man, all the better, I can be your “girlfriend” until you are ready to come-out to your friends and family (or if you are a conservative politician 😉 ). Must be willing to attend social events and high-class functions. Also must be good with children and animals.
I’m not sure what high-class functions we would be attending, but it’s always good to err on the side of caution.
Bottom line: I am a horrible money manager. I know all of the tricks and trades to finding money when there is none, but some of them are not legal and other’s will just plain get you into trouble. That coupled with the fact I have no job and have been dragging my feet to apply to sub = I’m broke. The afore-mentioned tricks can no longer be used, hence, I need a sugar daddy.
Honestly, if you have money burning a hole in your pocket, you are more than welcome to send it my way. Or if you have a job to offer I am totally willing to work for it. It would make things a lot easier than bringing a man into the mix. I would really rather not have to go there, but if I must, I will.
P.S. One of my Facebook friends told me when posting “I need a sugar daddy…” I need to be more specific (ie am I talking about a man or the candy) because you could end up with some “effed up stuff in your mailbox”. So if you want to send cash or check, that works too. And if you know of any willing or available sugar daddies, send them my way. Hey, it can’t hurt to ask…