Monthly Archives: February 2013
First I would like to apologize for, well… me being me. Candy grams and all things related suck. There is no better way to say it. Unfortunately you are me, reincarnated. This means that for the rest of your life you are destined to always want to be the smart, pretty, good at everything girl that everyone likes and admires. The one that everyone wants to talk to and be best friends with. But unfortunately, that’s not us. It’s not that people DON’T like us. It’s just that we aren’t noticeable. We’re invisible. We’re not the first one people think of when they want a friend, or someone to send a candy gram to… We will never be the popular girl, or the girl that all of the boys like. Don’t even get me started on boys, because I’m not really looking forward to that phase of your life. I have no idea how to navigate it, or even explain to you when some boy breaks your heart.
In some ways I feel as if I have already failed you because of how I handled what happened with your dad. I think maybe you took away something that I didn’t really intend for you to take away from how I dealt with all of that. My intention was to show you and your sister that life goes on, even though you struggle you keep doing what you can do, and hope for a better future. What your dad did was your dad’s choice. I don’t know if I could have done anything differently, anything to prevent it, but most likely it was because I was just me. Little old, dependable, do anything for everyone else me. And I became irrelevant. Someone to “handle” and then move on to real life without.
But I have learned to enjoy my life, and the good friends I do have. I do regret that you don’t yet have a best friend, like I did all through my school years. But life was different then. There were only twelve kids in my class. Small compared to the three sections of 30 kids each you deal with every day. It’s much harder to create bonds with so many kids. But I have hope for you still. Even if not, I know that you will learn to be comfortable with yourself. I will continue to try to be a better role model for you, because I don’t want you to have a “woe-is-me” outlook on life, thinking everyone is against you. Really they aren’t. It’s just we aren’t memorable, we just are. But please remember, you are memorable to me, and you are a great person, and I love you no matter what.